Category: Stories

Bo Rap!

“What time does the film start?” asked Mum as we made our way to the cinema foyer.

“One thirty,” I replied. “It’s quarter past one now, so we’ve plenty of time.”

“Good. I hate to rush.”

We were going to watch Bohemian Rhapsody, the biopic of music icon Freddy Mercury and Queen.

Now one would think a city centre cinema would be empty-ish of a midweek afternoon for a matinee showing. One would think.

A queue of seniors awaited us at the ticket counters. I am not ageist and know I will be old myself one day. But that day is very far off.

Every senior who bought tickets – and yes, of course, they were going to watch Bohemian Rhapsody – had a chat about at least two of these topics:
The price of cinema tickets in their youth, why was it so expensive now; how much is pick ‘n’ mix; where was the best place to sit in the screen; did they have to sit in their allocated seat number; was there an usherette; how loud was Queen’s music going to be???

Eventually we get our tickets and make our way to the screen showing the movie.

Not actual cinema workman…lol

Unbeknown to us, however, the cinema was like a building site. The cinema’s website displays the disclaimer of: ‘We are working hard to bring you the best cinema experience… Please bear with us as ongoing works may restrict access to some areas…’

So some slight disruption we expected. We didn’t expect the whole place to look like the higher floors of Nakatomi Plaza – you know what I’m talking about Die Hard fans.

Obviously Mum and me were hoping Bruce Willis would swing down and escort us to our seats. Unfortunately he didn’t – not today at least.

As mentioned, many seniors were at the screening. There were discussions of were they in the right seats, the rustling of sweet papers and continuous talking throughout the ads and trailers. I had faith that they wouldn’t talk during the movie. As long as they didn’t sing along to Queen. Please god don’t let anyone sing along!

The film eventually started and was worth the wait.

© Fox Media & Regency

Rami Malek’s performance as Freddy was impeccable. He was wonderful, mesmerising, having studied and replicated the great man’s every move, habit, gesture. Surely an Oscar nomination must be his!

The supporting cast in the other Queen band members were great too.

Who would’ve thought that Ben Hardy, formerly Peter Beale from EastEnders, would look so good as glam rocker Roger Taylor, without even taking his shirt off (which he frequently did in EastEnders…)? Or that Gwilym Lee, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Brian May (it’s the wig for sure!) is the Sergeant sidekick in Midsomer Murders? Apart from that, John Deacon being played by Joseph Mazzello best known for his role in Jurassic Park as the little boy, Tim?

Excellent job by Susie Figgis the Casting Director!

Lovely moments of humour throughout the film, even during the dark moments.

The soundtrack? what can we say? There are no words for how fantastic the Queen music was – and is.

This outing reminded me of when I was given my first cassette recorder stereo one Christmas. Mum got me Queen’s Greatest Hits album.
Why would she do that? Being a kid, why would I want that music; why would I like Queen? 

She admitted years later, it’s coz’ she loved Queen and wanted the album.
Nothing like a mother’s love.

 

Eins – Steins – Prost!

Christmas in November in Newcastle’s Times Square – what’s going on, like?!

We spoke to Mike, of the Christmas Village, along with our complimentary drink, to find out: “Christmas Village is a festive experience for everyone to enjoy. There’s a German food village. There’s the ice rink that’s attached which is open later than previous years. The German craft market. Fire pits. Everything is free entry.*

Now we are a little bit different to everywhere else as we’ve got a big, massive Bavarian Beer Hall. We’ve got live music on. It’ll make you feel you’re in Southern Germany!” Mike tells us.

“There’s a Christmas Log Cabin, which we imported from Germany, if you just want a quiet drink during the day or after work. So a brand new, unique bar in Newcastle!”

Our Bavarian Beer Hall is open to families. Kids are welcome in the Beer Hall until 8pm. There’s doors to keep the heat in, so you’ll be nice and warm.” he continues.

“We know that we’re a bit early for Christmas, but you can never be too early for Christmas as everyone loves it!” Mike smiles.


Mum and I are well impressed and feel like we truly are in Bavaria as we head into the Beer Hall and order our steins.

“Five pound deposit for each glass is needed,” the barmaid advised.

“Is that to stop people stealing them?” I asked.

“Exactly,” she replied. “You get the full refund back on returning the glass.”

This is fair enough we decide as we take our seats amongst the rows of wooden tables and benches.

“People stealing steins reminds me of when our friend Josie did that. Do you remember?” asked Mum.

“Oh yeah, when we attended that Oktoberfest?” I said.

“Yeah. She was dressed as a German beer maid and had a half a two pint stein left. We were last in the beer tent. The door bouncers were shouting at us to drink up – ”

I smirked: “So Josie decided she was going to walk out with the half full stein. We walked on ahead of her to the exit. The bouncers stopped her and said: ‘You can’t leave with that glass.’ She argued that she’d bought the beer so the glass belonged to her. Then she announces she is going for a wee and off she goes.”

Mum laughed: “The bouncers and us followed her to the portaloo as she went inside. They hammered on the door for her to come out.”

Mum and I were sniggering now.
“So she opens the door and comes out,” laughs Mum.” ‘I was just having a wee,’ she says as she walks in slow motion as if she’s got knock knees. The bouncers stare at her and say ‘Drop it!’”

“And the two pint stein drops from between her legs, from under her dress, spilling beer everywhere around her!” I cackled.

“As if she’s giving birth and her waters had broke!” hooted Mum.

By now, people in the beer hall were looking at us, so we calmed it down and giggled silently just as the German Ooom Pah music started up.

We grabbed our drinks, knowing this was the first visit to the Christmas Village of many, nodded to each other and raised the steins: “Prost!”

Eins - Steins – Prost!

Eins – Steins – Prost!

 

* bar the ice rink

  • Christmas Village Newcastle is open every day until January 5th 2019!
  • Every day midday till midnight, free entry at all times including the Bavarian Beer tent & hut.
  • Ice Rink Tickets are available to purchase at life.org.uk

Tables can be reserved online, for up to fifty people so your Christmas parties are more than welcome. Reserving tables doesn’t cost any additional charge, it’s simply an advance purchase of your food and your drink. You’re getting a lot of bang for your buck – so lock down your seats in the private reservation area.

For more info, see https://www.christmasvillagenewcastle.co.uk/ or email info@christmasvillagenewcastle.co.uk

Silhouettes In The Sand

“I haven’t been up and out this early on a Sunday morning since I can remember,” said Mum as she looked out of the car window at the landscape flashing by.

We were driving to attend Pages Of The Sea at Roker Beach in Sunderland from our native Newcastle. Now normally there is rivalry between us Geordies and them Mackems, thanks to our opposing football teams. But not today. Today we would all be as one to mark the centenary of the end of WW1.

‘On selected beaches around the UK, over the course of several hours, a portrait of an individual from the First World War will emerge from the sand. And then, as the tide rises, be washed away as we take a moment to say a collective goodbye.’ – https://www.pagesofthesea.org.uk/

We’d set off extra early to ensure we arrived for the 11am two minutes silence, as well as make sure we got parked.

We parked up at Roker Harbour View and were out of the car as a lady shouted at me: “Look out! Dog poo!!!”

Too late – I stepped right in it!

A massive s**t sat on the pavement, in front of a dog waste bin too. Like it was mocking me.

The lady who’d shouted at me had come closer: “You’re best off walking on the sand to get it off,” she suggested.

I thanked her and told Mum to walk toward Roker Beach and I’d cut across the sand to meet her there. This was a great idea, bar the sand having mini dunes protruding up making it feel like I was crossing the Sahara. I checked the time, nearly 11am, and then tripped, falling arse over tit.

I met back up with Mum just as the two minute silence began, covered head to toe in wet sand but dog poo free!

Pages Of The Sea began with huge sand portrait of Second Lieutenant Hugh Carr (born in Sunderland Street, Houghton-Le-Spring, County Durham) bring carved while members of the public created, from templates, silhouettes of loved ones on the shoreline sands.

Looking at these, I turned to Mum: “What made you want to come today?”

“It’s once in a lifetime event. Brings it home how brave the soldiers were.”
She paused. “It’s quite emotional, looking at the different notices people have placed around and on the silhouettes – watching people writing sand inscriptions, putting photos of their lost loved ones on the silhouettes they’ve drawn.

Mum stands amongst the sand silhouettes

I feel attending has made me think of connections between the WW1 and today as we wouldn’t have the life and freedom we have had they not fought for us.”

“It’s been excellent,” I said. “Really good that lots of people have attended.”

“Everyone seems to have enjoyed the event. People have shown respect; been thoughtful. It’s been a wonderful experience,” Mum continued.

“What have you liked best?” I asked.

“I’ve liked all of it,” Mum replied. “The choir singing was excellent, the atmosphere. I will remember the whole day. What a lovely thing it is for everyone to come together…I will always remember the silhouettes in the sand.”

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Life Centre’s For Life, Not Just For Christmas!

We were informed of the launch of Newcastle’s latest Christmas extravaganza – a Christmas Village in Times Square – as well as brilliant The Centre For Life’s ice rink opening and encouraged to attend.

“This is brilliant,” said Mum. “We have the whole place to ourselves!”

Bar the half a dozen workmen and staff setting things up the Christmas Village ahead of its five PM launch countdown. If you don’t count them, then yes, we have the whole Christmas Village to ourselves….

The Life Centre’s seasonal ice skating rink is a Newcastle Christmas steadfast, hugely popular and will be open to the public from Saturday 10th November. The Life Centre has a wonderful Seasonal programme coming up.

Photo courtesy & copyright of The Centre For Life

Sarah Reed, Communications Manager at Life Centre gave us the lowdown on all that will be happening at the Life Centre in the lead up to Christmas!

“There’s been loads going on today [launch day]. We’ve done an event on the ice rink as we’ve brought it back and it will be here until next February’s half term holidays, and although the event is centred on the ice rink, today was to launch our whole festive season. So we’ve got the ice rink that opens to the public skating from tomorrow. We’ve got Santa in his grotto, from November 17th on weekends only up until Christmas. Plus our friends in the Christmas Village launching today so that’s exciting that it’s alongside Life Centre!”

There’s also lots going on in the Life Science Centre as well. Not everyone knows that we run Christmas themed activities – you can explore fake snow in the experiment zone; make Christmas crafts in the Making Space; and on the 4D Motion ride, we’ve got The Polar Express, which gives you a completely new way of experiencing the show.”

We also have a fantastic exhibition opening for the Christmas holidays! If anyone likes a nice sci-fi movie for Christmas they should come along to Alien Invasion.”

 “We can hardly contain our excitement as you’ve got so much going on!” I tell Sarah.

“It must be a very busy time of year for you?!” Mum chips in.

“There’s just so much going on – there’s a lot of buzz and excitement. There’s going to be as much buzz and excitement in Times Square as there’s going to be in Life Centre this year which makes it particularly brilliant!” 

“Will you be at the Christmas Village launch this evening?”

“Oh, definitely! Who doesn’t like a nice, warm drink and a log fire? It just gets you into the festive spirit. It’s so pretty,” Sarah told us. “The Christmas Village team have done a really great job with it – it looks so impressive, so pretty with all of the fairy lights and Christmas trees. It looks fantastic!” 

“We look forward to raising a stein with you – cheers!” 

“Cheers!” 

 

 

 

 

Life Science Centre https://www.life.org.uk/ 

Newcastle Christmas Village https://www.christmasvillagenewcastle.co.uk/

Women of Substance

We were driving. Returning to York to explore its historic streets some more as previously we’d had a flying visit in the Summer to watch a show at the pop up Shakespeare Rose Theatre, which is now long gone.

We had booked into a faceless chain hotel (which begins with a ‘T’).
Had had a nightmare journey. Stuck in a traffic jam on the A1(M) for over an hour. We were boiling hot, bothered and bored.

Eventually we arrived at hotel. We were dishevelled, worn out, sticky.

Got checked in, no bother; made it to the room. I’d been dying for a wee for the last ten miles, so headed straight for the en-suite.

“Thank god!” sighed Mum as she stripped down to her undies, flopped down on the bed, put the TV on and said: “I’m having a nap.”

Next thing she knew, I came flying out of the bathroom:
“Get up! Get up!” I exclaimed. “’I’m going to demand they come in to clean up the room. I take umbrage. Pure umbrage at that bathroom!”

The bathroom was dirty. The bath marked, hairs all over the floor, toilet stained. Taps needed descaling. Not sure the last time it had seen a cleaner, but imagine it was probably the last time that Richard the Third visited York!

The shower curtain had a full hand print on it. What went on previously in this room? The mind boggles…

I grab the telephone and phone down to reception and give them a good mouth full of Geordie charm. They agree to come up and inspect the room to re-service it. I breathe.

It was at this point I noticed that Mum was sprawled out on the bed, hand leisurely perched behind her head, leaning on plumped up pillows in just her lingerie. Reminiscent of the Sleeping Venus by Giorgione, not, as she likely imagines, Rose in Titanic.

“We have to leave the room. Apparently we can’t be in it whilst they clean it.”

Mum sat bolt upright at this: “What? I’ve just got comfy!”

“They’ve offered us a complimentary drink. They’re coming right up.”

“Aww, bloody hell. For god’s sake,” Mum said and then continued muttering about how ridiculous it was.

We were down at reception and shown to the bar area, which was within spitting distance. We were the only guests in there.

“What can we get you, on the house of course?” smiled the receptionist now on bar duty.

I was perusing the coffee menu when I heard Mum say: “A bottle of prosecco.”

The receptionist clasped her hand to her jaw, to stop herself from gasping.

Mum gave a Mona Lisa smile – she was obviously in a Renaissance art mood, and turned to me:

“What are you having, Sharon?”

“The same,” I said.

And that, my friend, was that!

 

Giorgione, Sleeping Venus painting  – https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=101652 –
edited/adapted for our purposes

A blog!

“Let’s start a blog!” we said.
“Let’s make it humorous!”
“Let’s make it about us experiencing culture!”

Not off to a great start as we couldn’t even decide on a name.

We thought of ‘Travels With Meemaw’ only to discover Meemaw derives from the US Deep South and means Grandmother. Not the theme we were after.

‘My Travels With Mamme’ believing this to be a play on words from a cult classic movie, only to realise the movie is called ‘My Dinner With Andre’. So that was a bust.

‘Travels With Mother’ sounds like something from the 1940’s.

‘Eureka!’ We thought ‘We’ve cracked it – Travels With Mama`i!’
Why? I hear you ask. Well Mama`I is Irish Gaelic for Mammy (its pronunciation).
Mum is Irish born, so this is apt.
What if people can’t pronounce Mama`i?
What if there’s confusion?
Then, we’d look full of sh*te.

How about our first name initials incorporated into the title?
M&S Treks – sounds like a shopping trip to Marksy’s…
S&M Adventures – let’s not even go there…

Initials are not going to work then.

We put a call out to our talented, witty friends on social media – so thanks to all of you for the suggestions, you are brilliant! We decided on Races Around The World.

‘But you not travelling the world!’ I hear you think. Nobody said we were going to.
Instead, it is our world. The world we inhabit. The Race world.

There you have it – and we’re off!

“Turn the air con on,” Mum says. “I’m too hot. I can’t get comfortable. How much longer?” We’ve not even started on our journey for five minutes yet.

Taylor Swift’s Greatest Hits CD blasting through the car speakers is starting to grate now. I’d asked Mum not to bring it, but she insisted. Who’d have thought a joke Mother’s Day gift could cause so much joy, for Mum at least.

Our drive is going well, until a strange rattling noise begins to seep over Taylor Swift.

At first, it didn’t bother me. I tried to play it down. If Mum wasn’t going to mention it, neither was I. Why worry the woman who recently asked if I was heading back onto the motorway via a no entry, wrong direction sign…

Then it happened. Mum ejected Taylor Swift to change CDs – she was eyeing up the Wham’s Greatest Hits album – and stopped.

“What’s that rattling?” she asked.

“What rattling?”

A beat, as the quiet shudder happened again.

“That rattling. Oh god! What is it?”

“It’ll be nothing,” I reassure.

“Sounds like it’s coming from the wheels. The front wheels. They must be loose. Oh god!”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Pull over. Pull over and check. I mean now!”

As we were travelling at 70mph in the fast lane, that wasn’t going to happen.

“There’s services in a mile. We’ll stop there,” I say.

That was the longest mile ever. Felt like a hundred. Rattle, rattle. Every few seconds – and no Taylor Swift to drown it out.

I could hear the dashboard clock change minutes. Like Big Ben. Tick tock. Tick tock. All the while, Mum grinding her fingernails deeper and deeper into my upholstery, until we pulled into the services.

Check the wheels. Check the nuts. Check the engine. Nothing.

“What about the engine?” suggests Mum.

She turns over the engine and does a bit of revving as I stand, , bonnet open, staring into the engine. I have no idea what I am looking for, but the rattling has stopped.
Off we go.

Rattle, rattle. Again it begins.

“Hang on,” says Mum. She leans forward and picks up the water bottle than sits in the driver’s cup holder. The rattling stops. It had been the bottle swaying, knocking against the holder. Nothing more.

“I knew it,” said Mum.

That’s is why she’s the mother and I am the daughter.

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